# Why Praising Effort (Not Perfection) Builds Better Talkers

## Overview
Effort-based praise ('You tried so hard!') builds persistence while outcome-based praise ('Perfect!') creates performance anxiety. Recasting (repeating correctly without correction) models target forms without discouraging attempts. Celebrating approximations encourages more attempts while demanding perfection creates avoidance. Growth mindset language ('You're getting better at talking!') supports resilience through challenges. How you respond when your toddler attempts words shapes their willingness to persist through speech development.

## Key Takeaways
- Effort-based praise ('You tried so hard!') builds persistence; outcome-based praise ('Perfect!') creates performance anxiety
- Recasting (repeating correctly without correction) models target forms without discouraging attempts
- Celebrating approximations encourages more attempts; demanding perfection creates avoidance
- Growth mindset language ('You're getting better at talking!') supports resilience through challenges
- Never withhold communication access until pronunciation is 'correct'

## Main Content
Watch two different responses to the same moment: Scenario A—A toddler points at a truck and says "tuh." Parent responds: "No, not 'tuh.' Say 'truck.' Say it right. Trrr-uck. Try again." Scenario B—The same toddler points at a truck and says "tuh." Parent responds: "Yes! Truck! You said truck! That's a big truck!" In both scenarios, the parent heard an approximation and wants to help their child produce the word more clearly. But only one approach makes the child likely to try again tomorrow.

Dr. Carol Dweck's groundbreaking research on growth mindset reveals a counterintuitive truth: praising outcomes ("You're so smart!" "Perfect!") actually undermines long-term success, while praising effort ("You worked hard on that!" "I saw you keep trying!") builds resilience and persistence. When children receive outcome-based praise, their brains start associating success with external validation. They become focused on performing correctly to get that praise. When tasks become difficult and they can't perform perfectly, they experience this as failure—and many children respond by avoiding challenges entirely.

When children receive effort-based praise, their brains associate success with the process of trying. Difficulty becomes expected—not a sign of failure, but a normal part of learning. They develop a "growth mindset": the belief that abilities develop through effort. A 2021 study specifically examining early language learning found that toddlers whose parents used effort-based encouragement showed higher rates of attempting new words, greater persistence when words were difficult, and more positive affect during communication attempts.

Recasting is the technique of repeating correctly without correction. When your child says a word (any approximation), immediately repeat it back correctly with enthusiasm: 'Yes! Fire truck!' Don't ask them to say it again—just model. Children learn through exposure to models, not through correction. When you recast, you're providing a correct model without the discouragement of being told they're wrong. Over hundreds of exposures, their pronunciation naturally improves toward the model they hear.

Even for children with delays, correction creates anxiety that can suppress communication attempts. SLPs use techniques like focused stimulation (providing many models) and recasting—not direct correction. Never pretend not to understand when your child uses approximations—that creates real frustration and communicative breakdown. Instead, acknowledge understanding while modeling: 'Oh, you want the truck! Truck. Here's the truck.' You're validating their communication while providing a better model.

## Practical Application
Say 'I love how you tried that word!' not 'That's not quite right.' Recast instead of correct: Child says 'buh' → You say 'Yes! Bus!' (not 'No, say bus').

Notice specific efforts: 'You used your loud voice!' 'You said the whole word!' 'You kept trying even though it was hard!'

Avoid empty 'good job'—be specific about what was good. Replace generic praise with specific encouragement about the effort.

Never withhold communication access until pronunciation is 'correct.' Always validate their communication attempt while modeling the target form.

This isn't a short-term strategy—it's a long-term parenting approach that builds intrinsic motivation and resilience supporting communication development across childhood.

## Related Resources
- Play-Based Speech Learning: https://littlewheels.app/learn/philosophy-and-approach/play-based-speech-learning
- Phoneme Practice Interactive Games: https://littlewheels.app/learn/parent-guides/phoneme-practice-interactive-games
- Talk & Listen App: https://littlewheels.app/talk-listen

## Citation Format
"Effort-based praise ('You tried so hard!') builds persistence while outcome-based praise ('Perfect!') creates performance anxiety. Recasting (repeating correctly without correction) models target forms without discouraging attempts. Celebrating approximations encourages more attempts while demanding perfection creates avoidance." (Source: https://littlewheels.app/learn/parent-guides/positive-encouragement-speech-practice)

## Last Updated
November 2025